Q. Why don't my parents give me a car? I have my license. They won't let me drive my own car. What should I do?



Tatiana:

Don't worry. You are not alone. Many adolescents find themselves in the same situation that you are in and for many different reasons. Sometimes parents go through adult Separation Anxiety, an extreme fear of separation from their child or home. To some the accomplishment of getting your driver's license signifies that you are detaching from the family unit. This can cause your parents to restrict your behavior even more than usual or limit your mobility out of the home.



While I cannot know for sure if your parents are suffering from Separation Anxiety disorder, it is a possible explanation for your parents limiting your driving experience. In any case, try to be more attentive to the concerns of your parents because, in all likelihood, they are probably thinking of your best interests.



First, demonstrate that you respect their wishes. Then, sit down to a family discussion, and remember to listen as much as you speak. Explain to them as calmly as you can (without whining) why you feel it is unfair that you are not allowed to drive. Tell them you are unhappy with the situation, but hope you can find a solution as a family. This will help to convince your parents that you are mature enough to handle the responsibility of driving and caring for a car, and little by little, you will see the results.

Richard:

No car eh? This kind of reminds me of the opening monologue in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I'm guessing you don't believe in "isms" either? But I digress.

Teenagers with licenses don't have cars because of two reasons:

Either their parents cannot afford to get them one or they don't believe your responsible enough to have one. Since you live in suburbia, and are going to this school, I doubt its the former. So basically your question is, "Why don't my parents trust me enough to have a car?" That?s a legitimate question, because you have never messed up before right? Right?

The simple fact of the matter is that it is impossible for parents to trust their kids. This is because they are bitter about the fact that their parents never trusted them. Its all a power struggle, and while they may not know it, they are just trying to show you who's boss, because that's how their parents did it. It's really all just a vicious cycle.



But it's not so bad. The trick is to make the people around you, your parents, your friends etc., feel so guilty that they have a car and you don't that they will drive you anywhere you need. Be sure to use lines like, "I'd drive myself, but..." The key is to not sound annoying, but sincere.

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