Dear Addie,

Do you think that the guy should make the first move, or should the girl make the first move?

-“Wondering In Cleveland High”

Well, this is a commonly asked question, WICH, so you’re definitely not alone. I think that whoever makes the first move should be the one with the guts.

There’s no written or unspoken rule, but there are basics to any approach tactic. First, there must always be a certain level of respect that either person must have for each other. Now I know that sometimes it’s not always clear what feelings that individual might have for you, but some things are obvious. For example, it’s almost always quite clear when someone is already attached. This means stay back, or you could unintentionally involve a third party. Also, try picking up hints when they give you the apparent cold shoulder and ignore you when you say “Hi” to them in the hall. This hurts, and you shouldn’t bother making any move on someone like that anyway. So basically, there is no certain gender that should make the first move, just be sure that you’re being respectful and considerate of that certain someone when you make a move, whether it’s verbal or physical.

Dear Addie,

I have been having problems with my friends lately. One of them in particular has a boyfriend, but she flirts with almost every other guy. Now I'm not saying she is cheating, but it makes me mad that when she does this she makes all the guys like her. Maybe I just don’t get it. I mean, everyone wants her to break up with her boyfriend, but she can’t do any better. I am mostly jealous, but I am also worried that her boyfriend is going to see her flirting someday and break up with her. Can you please help me? I want the guys to like me like that, but I also want to tell her to stay back because she is getting too cozy with other guys.

-“A Worried Friend”



Ugh! This is something I see all the time. The way I see it, your friend is digging her own ditch. You can try explaining to her that what she is doing is risky to her rep as well as jeopardizing to her relationship, but when her boyfriend sees her flirting or hears about it through the grapevine, it’ll be her problem and her loss, especially since “she can’t do any better.” I don’t think you or anyone should be jealous one bit of a tease and a potential cheater. Believe me, if the guys seem to like her, it isn’t genuine. You would be more likely to really get the guys (and nice ones at that) with honesty, loyalty and unadulterated friendship.