There is an age-old debate between brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, and probably even the animals themselves: which is better, cats or dogs?

           
It should be obvious that our feline friends exceed those meticulous mutts in every possible way, but it seems as though some people have fallen prey to those big, brown eyes and wagging tails.

           
It is a foolish mistake, but a simple one at that. The dogs look stupid and innocent on purpose, I tell you.

           
So, I feel it is my personal duty to inform all of you misled dog lovers out there.

           
I’ll start off on a somewhat shallow yet important level: cats are much, much, much cuter than dogs. They’re small, fuzzy, and usually a little pudgy. They have eyes that look into the soul and the softest ears in the world. And their teeth are about the size of a grain of sand; how adorable is that?

           
Next, let’s compare their personalities. Dogs have one personality: dumb. Cats have many different types. They can be cuddly, sneaky, curious, hyper, friendly, or introverted. It’s like being friends with a human, except they won’t get freaked out if you scratch their chin.

           
Finally, we need to cover the hygienic routines of both. Dogs relieve themselves wherever they think smells good, openly lick their privates, and then try to get the taste out of their mouths by rubbing their tongues on your face.

Cats, on the other hand, go about their business much more politely. They have one designated restroom (and they even let you choose where that is), they go into a private corner to cleanse themselves, and they show their affection simply by crawling onto your lap and imitating a motorboat.