So I’m a huge fan of smoking.

Huge. Let me tell you, Emphysema

City, here I come. It’s a free

world right? Right, and because

of this, people like me should

have free reign to blow our rings

wherever, and into the lungs of

whomever, we like. Like I said,

free world.

My biggest irk would have to

be the no smoking policy that has

quickly and fervently attacked

our country. I mean, what is this?

I can’t even spend time in my

favorite breakfast restaurant with

a searing, nicotine billowing butt

in my hand. Granted, that woman

over there without her hair and a

hacking cough might be appreciative,

and the child sitting on

her lap with her blonde hair and

healthy pink lungs as well. But

why does that matter to me? Not

my problem, I like to say. It’s a

free world.

Another pet peeve of mine is

my family members. Who are

they to tell me what to do? I’m

almost eighteen, I have rights,

and a few months from now I

won’t have to listen to them nag

ever again. My relatives’ most

common statements consist

of either, “You don’t have gas

money? I wonder why,” or “Why

weren’t you watching your

brother?!” The latter bothers me

the most. I mean, I need a cigarette

break every once in awhile,

ok? Who cares if he’s throwing

the smackdown on our beagle

down the stairs and he’s in the

house alone. He should be able

to take care of himself. I have my

own priorities. It’s a free world.

My life, I swear, is so much

better with cigarettes by my

side. Honestly, they’re my best

friends. Ok, maybe that’s a little

over the top, but I really, really

like them. A lot. I mean, when no

one’s there to back you up, who

can you light up and take a drag

of? A butt. Who’s there to help

when the pressure of finals, and

college applications, and annoying

boyfriends becomes just too

overwhelming? A nice Marlboro

Red, that’s who. And people can

complain all they like, but do I

care? Nah, it’s a free world.

I like that statement. It’s

free. I can do whatever I want.

It doesn’t matter to me that my

brother probably already has

semi-browned lungs. Or that my

influence makes a difference

in everything he does. It’s my

choice, and I choose cigarettes.

Case closed. Free world. It’s a

free world….right? For me, as

well as for the people I affect I

guess. I’m dimishing their free

world possibly, with my second

hand smoke and influences, but

that’s ok, it’s my decision. I can

do what I want.

I know the right decision,

I’ll get everyone off my back.

Smoke on my own, when they

don’t see. The car’s ok, and after

school’s fine. They can’t stop

me. I’ll keep my good reputation,

and continue with my bad

habit. I’ll go to college, and get a

good education, get married, and

start a family. Granted, I will be

adding nicotine and carcinogens

to my diet when I’m pregnant,

but that’s just a small risk, I’ll

be fine. I mean, we’ll be fine. I’ll

live a long and happy life, and

maybe die a few years earlier,

possibly even a couple decades,

at that, but that’s all right. Fine

with me. It will still be a happy

life, and everyone will be off my

back. Emphysema City, here I

come. It’s a free world.