The Arrowhead Arrowhead High School Hartland, WI
Issue Date: Friday, June 07, 2013 Issue: June 7, 2013 Last Update: Friday, June 07, 2013
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At-a-glance

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Have you ever been watching a movie and wished that a product was real? Like the instant spray “Vapoorizer” to remove animal excrement seen in the film “Envy,” which starred Jack Black and Ben Stiller? Or perhaps the hover board as seen in the film “Back to the Future 2,” or maybe even those frizzy drinks in “Willy Wonka” which caused the drinker to float up into the air? And who can honestly say that they have never wished light sabers existed? Very soon, one movie product is jumping off of the big screen and into your refrigerator.

Near the end of September 2006, Mike Judge (creator of “Office Space,” “Beavis and Butthead,” and “King of the Hill”) released a film under the radar of the general public. The few people lucky enough to come across this comedic masterpiece found themselves in a bleak future, filled with fools. This was “Idiocracy.”

Private Joe Bauers, played by Luke Wilson, the baseline definition of the “average American,” is selected by the Pentagon for a top secret hibernation program that was to last one year. Alas, the program was so top secret, that it was indeed forgotten. Waking up 500 years later, Bauers finds a society so dumbed-down due to dysgenics that he is now considered the smartest man on earth.

The movie is definitely a must see, yet the film is not the focus of this article. In the movie, a sports drink has replaced water everywhere, from in bubblers to being used to water crops – which die, for some unknown reason. This energy drink is known as “Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator.” And on December 15th, it will no longer be found only in the movies.

Redux beverages, whose creations include the controversial drink named “Cocaine,” has announced that “Brawndo” will be added to their lineup. Brawndo is to be a lemon-lime endurance supplement beverage, bright green, and with a smooth tangy flavor. Brawndo is staying true to Idiocracy, keeping the two catchphrases from the film: “It’s got what plants crave,” and “It’s got electrolytes.”

I don’t think Brawndo will fully come to replace water, but it just may come pretty close. So on December 15th, give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen?

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